Manipulative Minds
If you are being manipulated it can be so hard to tell that you don’t even start to realize for a long time, or until someone points it out. Sometimes even after someone points it out you don’t see it. Being manipulated seems like it would be blatantly obvious, but it’s not. Not even in the slightest. But what kind of manipulation are you going through, there are so many types. One of the forms of manipulation I believe to be the most common, and have seen and had experience with the most, is emotional, yet there are many more.
If you are in a relationship and you are feeling like any of the following symptoms apply to you or your relationship you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship, or you are being manipulated.
Has the joy of finding this relationship turned into the fear of losing it? Have your feelings gone from happiness and excitement to anxiety, fear, and maybe even desperation?
Does your mood revolve completely around the state of your significant other, and the relationship?
Do you feel like you are screwing up the best thing that ever happened to you anytime you say something that might offend your significant other?
Would you describe your relationship as complicated and hard to talk about?
Are you unsure of the status of which you and your significant other stand? Whether it is good or bad? Does he/she really love you or are they just stringing you along?
Whenever your partner is with you (especially after a disagreement) they seem to be extremely upset. Or they act like something is wrong.
You always feel the need to explain and defend yourself.
If you are angry or frustrated, and you bring up something that has been bothering you, the focus always seems to get changed to your problem. It’s your problem with trust, your insecurities. It is never them, always you.
You feel that you don’t know how to make your partner happy. No matter what you do it is never good enough.
Expressing negative thoughts or feelings feels like it is forbidden. Sometimes causing you to act hostil.
You don’t feel as good about yourself as you did before the relationship. You feel less confident, less secure, less adequate. Like you suddenly aren’t as good as you were before.
You feel like you always have to control your words and be careful what you say to your partner.
Now even though all of these signs, or symptoms, can’t tell you for sure whether or not you are being manipulated. It is never know 100 percent unless you talk to a professional.
It’s never really 100 percent possible to tell what goes through a manipulator's mind. Just keep in mind that they think they are going to lose you or get hurt by you, or something else is mentally bothering them that they may feel like treating you like this is the only way to keep you.
Emotionally Manipulative things often said:
“I would kill myself without you.”
“Everyone leaves me, don’t leave me like they did.”
Basically anything else that guilts the other person into staying with you.
This doesn’t even have to apply to romantic relationships. If you have friends saying this kind of thing to you, it’s time to re-evaluate who you hang out with, and make sure they get help.
Also, if this person is mentally ill, remember:
There is a difference between expressing your needs, and scaring and manipulating the people you care about into staying with and paying attention to you.
If you have abandonment issues or fear of being alone: communicate that. Instead of threatening suicide or guilting someone into staying your friend, because you’re making them the bad guy for leaving. You honestly can say “I am afraid of being alone, and spending time with you is important to me.” or “I have issues with feeling abandoned that can put me in a really scary place.”, etc. This way you are telling someone about your fears without making them stay your friend, or partner. It’s not healthy for you or for the other person when you threaten suicide. Plus, you are literally telling the person, ‘If you don’t do what I ask, my blood is on your hands.” That is not okay. It is never, ever okay. If you are feeling suicidal, you need to talk to someone, because your life is far too precious to give up for someone else, or really for any reason.
