How to Deal with an Electronic Bully
In this day and age there most of us find ourselves clinging to our phones, computers, and tablets like our lives depended on a constant attachment to the connection of tubes and invisible signals traveling through the air we call the internet. Because of this bullying has taken a different form. A lot of bullying still does happen in the traditional sense, but because of the large part of our lives that happens on the web bullying has also found its ways into our new favorite form of entertainment. I’ve been around the web and I’ve seen many incidents of bullying. I’m here now to tell you of different situations and how you can deal with each one.
Hate Comments
If you’ve ever dared to venture into the treacherous realm that is the YouTube comments section I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of hate comments. There are different ways to react to this either if you’re the one who the hate is targeting, or if you’re simply someone who comes across this. Now, the one thing you should never do in either case is reply with another hate comment. The commenter is either looking for another negative reaction, or is simply just misunderstanding and doesn’t understand what they’re doing. Either way replying with more hate does not solve the problem. You should either ignore the comment, knowing that they probably either don’t fully understand what they are trying to say, or are just looking for a reaction and only trying to make people mad. There is the off chance that they do understand and actually mean what they say, but in this case they should not be openly expressing their opinions in such a harmful way. In any case you should not take anything to personal, either ignore the comment and don’t let it bother you, or if you’re intent on replying do so with kindness. I’ve actually seen people react to hate comments the way they should do, and have it work. One of my favorite examples is Dave Brown, better known as Boyinaband from YouTube who wrote and performed the viral internet hit song known as Don’t Stay in School. He actually did a video on this comment and how he was proud of the way his subscribers reacted to the hate comment, and guess what. The person who wrote the comment actually took back what he said.
Shaming or Pushing
Now, I’m not talking about the cute way people pose their pets with signs that say things that they did like “Whenever someone rings the doorbell I pee a little.” No I mean when people are trying to shame things and make people feel bad for who they are and what they do, or pushing someone to admit something they don’t want to. Now this one I have experienced more closely. There are some examples that are more prominent it today’s society, and some that aren’t as common, but still an issue. Someone could be shaming you or a friend for liking something that goes against the status quo. Or someone may be pushing you to come out of the closet about something that you’re aren’t comfortable to share yet. If you find yourself a victim of a case like this, reassure yourself that you can be whoever you want, there should be no shame in being yourself, and it’s OK to not share every aspect of yourself if you aren’t comfortable with. Whoever is doing this to you is clearly crossing a line and they should not be doing so. If you’re trying to help out someone who is a victim of this circumstance remind them that it’s OK to be themselves, and if you’re a true friend, something as trivial as anything they could be pushed to admit and or do, or shamed about should not affect your friendship, so if that’s true, tell them that. I know that it helps.
Doing Something With Out Consent
This one is pretty wide open for possibilities. It could be something as simple as calling someone something you don’t have permission to call them, or as extreme as sharing something without their OK. Depending on the situation this example can be very similar to Shaming and Pushing. I’ve seen people be referred to using the wrong pronoun, and doing so repeatedly even when they are told that the person prefers to be called something else. I know many people at this school that this may have happened to, and I feel that many people can also go about solving this the wrong way. The first thing you should do is politely ask them to stop and calmly point out that they make a mistake. This could at first be as simple as the person not knowing. However if it escalates to the point where they keep repeatedly and purposely keep doing do then we have a problem. If this person is instant on not using the preferred pronoun then there isn’t much you can do about it. The way I see it that person should be ignored. Not if you’re not the victim of this situation and are simply trying to help out then you need to remember that the person who’s the main concern here is the victim. Sometimes they may want to just drop the situation, and if that’s the case you need to respect their decision and drop the subject.
All in all Cyberbullying is no laughing matter, but you should ever return the fire in a violent or hateful manner. This only makes matters worse in almost any situation. The best thing to do is ignore it, but if you must respond, do so in a kind way. We can all help make the internet a less hateful place, it we work together and don’t return the fire.
